So much hullabaloo aimed at KFC these days as various media outlets launch barbarous attacks alleging the chain’s newest sandwich the “Double Down” is the most gluttonous food item ever conjured by man or beast. For those who haven’t heard about it, the Double Down breadless sandwich is two boneless chicken breasts stuffed with cheese, bacon and special sauce.
With the US Department of Health and Human Services reporting over 25 percent of the population as being obese, news outlets fuel the witch hunt stating fast food chains like KFC are responsible for a portly society as opposed to – say - people’s own lack of self control.
After poring over several accounts conveying KFC’s bad wrap, I decided to do a little investigative journalism of my own – not to mention a clever way to expense my lunch on the company’s nickel.
My research began on the KFC website, which describes their creation as, “So meaty, there’s no room for a bun.” Also – and probably the most telling detail of their website promotion – “The new KFC Double Down is real!” It’s nice to know a company selling us food is reassuring us that their meal is, in fact, a real thing, assuming that we would think they are pulling our leg.
The customer has a choice of grilled or fried chicken, just in case someone doesn’t want to gain too much weight.
On that topic, the Double Down contains 540 calories, 32 grams of fat and 1380 milligrams sodium.
Putting things in perspective, a McDonald’s Big Mac contains 540 calories, 29 grams of fat and 1040 milligrams of sodium.
I can’t decide what’s more concerning, the Double Down’s nutritional facts or the idea that when compared to the Big Mac, the chicken sandwich - that is actually chicken sandwiching cheese and bacon - isn’t too bad.
So I ate one.
How’d it taste? Awesome! No surprise, after all it’s a bunch of things that taste really good holding together other things that taste really good. The only thing getting in the way of complete nirvana is the sheer reality of what you are doing to your body while eating it.
Would I follow suite with fellow colleagues and label it as a “monstrosity”, or “disgusting,” “shockingly bold” and “egregious”? Absolutely not.
Amid all the righteous indignation, everyone missed the joke that’s been played on them by a creative marketing firm. That is: The Double Down is nothing more than a simple interpretation of the classic dish known as Chicken Cordon Bleu. In lieu of a knife and fork, you pick it up and eat it with your bare hands, like early man.
Certainly not the healthiest version (is there one?), but the fact remains, the Double Down is a popular dinner dish marketed as a sandwich. And it’s caused a multitude of journalists to write about what a terrible thing KFC is doing to society, unwittingly supplying the fast food chain with a lot of free press.
Countless articles have been written demonizing this “new invention.” And yet, no one has figured out it is merely Chicken Cordon Bleu served up in a cardboard box.
Well played, Colonel Sanders, very well played.
Armand Nardi is the publisher of the Gainesville Daily Register. He can be contacted at: anardi@ntin.net.
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