Published: December 19, 2007 03:12 pm         

The Simpsons Movie doesn't provide laughs like show

“The Simpsons Movie” went on sale Tuesday, Dec. 18, and I have to admit to a little curiosity.

Would it be funny?

Would the characters stay true to themselves?

Would the movie be typical Simpsons fare?

I kept my expectations deliberately low. Movie versions of successful television series are notorious for being disappointing all the way around.

A few are fairly good. The darkly-drawn, often passionate and tormented characters of the “Batman” movies come to mind.

Some are just harmless feature films that don’t live up to their namesakes such as “The Addams Family.”

Others are awful movies derived from even more offensive television shows. Remember “Beavis and Butthead Do America?”

“The Simpsons Movie” falls into the first category — light entertainment that doesn’t hurt anyone.

As a television series, “The Simpsons” is sometimes hilarious.

There are scenes and jokes that still make me laugh out loud when I think about them.

Not so with the movie.

Homer’s reference to a “phony, baloney God,” as he and his family trudge, late, into church is typical of him, but rude and unacceptable for many, even by Simpsons standards.

The movie begins in church where, at the insistence of Reverend Lovejoy, Grandpa Simpson falls on the floor and gives the congregation a writhing warning of terrible things to come.

Only the practical Marge is concerned. Even Grandpa forgets his outburst and later, when things begin to go wrong, says “That crazy old man at church was right.”

In the Simpsons world, one thing inevitably leads to another usually with disastrous consequences.

Homer hits himself in the eye with a hammer. That careless act leads to a dare with Bart to skateboard naked through Springfield. Bart gets caught and Homer has to retrieve his errant son. While dining at Crustyburger after the skateboard debacle, Homer rescues a pig destined to become part of a bacon cheeseburger.

Stewing at Crustyburger and still without his pants (Homer forgot them), Bart starts to think his pious neighbor Ned Flanders might be a better father figure than Homer.

After all, Ned Flanders — despite his “creepy, Pat Boone” vibe — is a pretty good dad. The widower Ned always brings along extra pants for his boys, Rod and Todd, and gives them hot chocolate with sprinkles and toasted marshmallows when they “bake up a bunch of frownies.”

The movie’s other theme is Homer’s obsession with his new pet pig, dubbed “Spider Pig” and later, “Harry Plopper.” The writers were apparently referencing a stage play called “Futz” in which a farmer falls in love with a pig and creates big trouble for himself and his town.

But how many people will know this?

In order to understand the Simpsons, one has to have a solid grasp on popular culture as a well as classical literature, history, vintage movies and music. Without that knowledge, many of the references used in both the big screen movie and the network series fall flat.

Grandpa’s prediction comes true after Homer — lured away from a legitimate waste disposal site by the prospect of free donuts — instead drops his silo full of pig excrement into Springfield’s Lake, contaminating the whole town.

As usual, the writers take jabs at the government including the Environmental Protection Agency, an inept group of slackers led by a meanie named Russ Cargill who comes up with a plan to cover poisoned Springfield with an impenetrable transparent dome.

Action movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger is President of the United States. He agrees to Cargill’s evil plan to remove Springfield from the map, even deleting the town from global positioning systems.

Meanwhile, Bart sidles up to Flanders as a surrogate father.

There are token appearances by some of the most popular Simpsons characters — Nelson ridicules Bart for being naked in public, Apu changes the freshness date on milk cartons, Chief Wiggum looks the other way when Fat Tony and his minions walk by with a dead body disguised as a bag of “garden clippings.”

It’s typical stuff.

Maggie becomes the Simpsons’ salvation when she accidentally discovers the way out of the dome, and Homer is forced to confront his boorish, selfish ways through a transcendental experience with an American Indian, this time while exhiled in Alaska.

There are scenes that are mildly amusing, but nothing to bring a belly laugh or tears to the eyes.

In an opening scene, Homer is in a theater complaining about a crummy Itchy and Scratchy movie. He asks why anyone would pay to see a movie when they can watch the same thing on television for free.

“You’re all suckers,” he declares, pointing his finger at those seated around him and then at the camera.

That’s probably how this summer’s movie audiences felt when they left the theater.

Voice Cast: Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Harry Shearer, Hank Azaria, Marcia Wallace, Billie Joe Armstrong, Tre Cool, Mike Dirnt, Tress MacNeille, Pamela Hayden, Joe Mantegna, Albert Brooks, Russi Taylor, Karl Wiedergott, Maggie Roswell and Tom Hanks.

“The Simpsons Movie”

** out of *****

Synopsis: The Springfield citizenry has every reason to be out for Simpson blood. The calamity triggered by Homer has drawn the attention of U.S. President Arnold Schwarzenegger and Environmental Protection Agency head Russ Cargill (voiced by Albert Brooks).

“You know sir,” Cargill tells the president, “when you made me head of the EPA, you were applauded for appointing one of the most successful men in America to the least successful agency in government. And why did I take the job? Because I’m a rich man who wanted to give something back. Not the money, but something.”

That “something” is a devil’s plan to contain the disaster.

As the fates of Springfield and the world hang in the balance, Homer embarks on a personal odyssey of redemption — seeking forgiveness from Marge, the reunion of his splintered family, and the salvation of his hometown.

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for irreverent humor throughout