Published: June 16, 2009 11:33 am      

At Random: Thomas helps hospice families deal with death

People like to talk to Millard Thomas.

And that’s a good thing.

The new chaplain for Home Hospice of Cooke County spends much of his time talking with and listening to his clients and their families.

“We (grief counselors) help patients and families decide what they need to do. We don’t give them advice. We don’t tell them what to do. We talk with them and ask them questions and help them work things out on their own,” he said.

Thomas is familiar with grief research and the work of theorists such as Elizabeth Kubler-Ross who identified grief as a progression through certain stages such as disbelief and bargaining and finally acceptance.

Still, those who counsel the bereaved rely on more than textbook advice.

Healing, Thomas said, is mostly about reflective conversation — quiet talks that give patients an outlet for their grief.

This kind of therapy is important for anyone who is in emotional distress, he said.

It is especially useful for home hospice clients who face complex issues such as chronic pain, depression, financial distress and fear about the end of their lives.

Thomas is a transplant from Boston, Mass. who said he loves Texas — even the state’s notoriously hot weather.

Massachusetts may be beautiful, he conceded, but winters there are harsh.

“I used to watch TV as a child and it was so cold in Boston. There would be snow on the ground, and I would see pictures of that beautiful sun (in the South). I could not wait to come down here,” he said, smiling.

He moved to Texas in 1958 after his discharge from the U.S. Air Force and except for vacations and time spent at educational institutions, he’s been here ever since.

He earned a bachelor’s degree in journalism from Baylor University before studying at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.

Thomas also completed 15 months of clinical pastoral education during which he studied grief in both a classroom and in a clinical setting.

He pastored churches for ten years before starting his ministry at the American Hospice in Dallas.

The progression from minister to hospice chaplain makes sense, he said.

“It’s a natural progression for a pastor to have a hospital ministry. It’s normal for pastors to deal with grieving people,” he said.

He said working with hospice patients and their families can be fulfilling.

“When you see the patients respond positively, its very gratifying,” he said.

Occasionally, there are roadblocks between hospice patients and their chaplains.

For instance, some clients fear Thomas is out to change their religion or to force a specific faith upon them.

That’s not true, he said.

“I’m not here to convert people. When they are ready that’s when we talk about spirituality,” he noted.

Dealing with death is probably the toughest challenge a hospice chaplain faces.

Thomas said he begins with open-ended questions.

“I ask them questions to help them work through it. So much (hospice ministry) is patient-centered. You’re there to enable the patient to do the work,” he said.

He said he’s pleased to take on the chaplain position at Home Hospice of Cooke County.

“I think Gainesville has a wonderful opportunity for anyone to serve,” he said.

Part of the success of Home Hospice of Cooke County is its strong volunteer program.

“There are so many people who do so much to help,” he said.

All hospice workers including medical professionals, volunteers and spiritual counselors have one goal in mind — palliative care.

Palliative care means staff members try to make their clients more comfortable.

Medical staff use medications and other types of therapy to ease their client’s suffering.

Chaplains use spirituality.

“Home hospice is about helping patients deal with pain and grief and to provide comfort, care and support,” he said.

Home Hospice of Cooke County is a United Way agency.