Published: August 29, 2008 10:22 am      

Counseling ordered for divorcing parents

District Judge Janelle Haverkamp has a saying she sometimes repeats when divorcing couples with kids come into her courtroom.

“I tell them they may be ex-spouses, but they are never going to be ex-parents,” Haverkamp said. “In my years on the bench, too often what I’ve seen, is divorcing parents are so consumed by their anger toward each other that they fail to see the effect that anger and animosity is having on their children. The children are so often caught in the middle.”

For some time now, Haverkamp has required parents involved in child custody litigation or motions to modify (a request for a modification of a previous court order) to attend a seminar facilitated by the Child and Family Guidance Center of Texoma.

The Kids Hurt Too divorce education seminars are designed to help divorcing parents understand their children’s feelings and help their kids cope.

“The program gives parents the tools to learn how to co-parent,” Haverkamp said.

Once required only in certain cases, Haverkamp said she decided to make the seminar mandatory whenever child custody is an issue.

The seminar is held in Grayson, Fannin and Cooke counties.

The next Cooke County seminar is scheduled for 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 18 in the North Central Texas College Library Lyceum. There is a cost to attend the program.

Haverkamp said she first began ordering some parents to attend the seminar “in cases where custody was contested and I thought the parents could benefit from it.”

Divorce can be a sad and confusing time for children, she said. “I think the seminar causes the parents to focus on placing the needs of their children above their need to hurt the other spouse,” she added.

The center begin working with Grayson County judges in 1997 to facilitate the program.

Brenda Hayward, executive director for the center, said the agency sent information about the seminar to family law attorneys, the district clerk’s office and to local judges.

“We would like the public to be aware of the program,” she said via e-mail.

The Child and Family Guidance Center contracts with licensed therapist, Judy Daugett, to facilitate the seminars in Cooke County.

The center is a nonprofit organization which provides outpatient mental health care to children, teens and families.

For information on the Kids Hurt Too seminar or any of the services offered by the Child and Family Guidance Center of Texoma see www.cfgcenter.org or contact the center at (903)893-7768.